Vishuddhi Alchemy

Everything has its own light and shadow side. The shadow is the unconscious, and it can be transmuted into light by making the shadow conscious. This is what I got to practice tonight, and to no surprise it was themed around my throat chakra.

Even the spinning wheels of energy that run up our spine, called our chakras, like anything else, have their own shadow sides. We commonly say it is “a sign that this chakra is out of balance”, but I use the term “shadow.”

For the throat chakra, also called vishuddhi, the shadow may manifest as deceit, inauthenticity, lying, being “fake”, not having a freaking clue who you truly are, physical throat area issues, manipulation with the intent to harm another for perceived personal “gain,” etc. The light/in-balance side of the throat chakra, is the most authentic expression of your soul living through your human experience.

For me, both the light and shadow aspects of my throat chakra have been a prominent theme for me in my life. The dark themes have come in the form of physical health problems like thyroid and neck pain, to a memory of being beheaded for speaking truth in another life, to being super afraid to speak my truth growing up because my truth wasn’t validated by the society I chose to incarnate into. I have experienced the dark by being seriously manipulated by even “spiritual people” and owners of nonprofits for poor children.

I have often times been put in difficult positions in which either have to do the right thing and expose the truth, or keep my mouth shut and live with the regret. One example is when I volunteered under the owner of a nonprofit that was smuggling money, and manipulating volunteers to have sex with him. I sure as heck exposed the truth, and the oversight organization wasn’t able to prove anything because the director continually ran away to other cities whenever they tried to investigate.

On the lighter side, my spiritual name, my favorite color since childhood, and my personal mantra happen to resonate with the throat chakra frequency. Even the density/dimensions that correspond to the throat chakra (5th density) is the density I feel the strongest connection to and receive the most guidance from.

Tonight, a shadow aspect of my vishuddhi showed up in my external reality for me to observe and transmute.

A cuddle client stiffed me for a two hour session, telling me after the cuddle session that he just left the money in his car and needed to grab it, and then drove away. I was in such a space of trust that, although I normally ask for payment up front, for whatever reason I was tired, crampy, and out-of-it, and mistakenly let it slide. He APPEARED to be such a good guy—so kind. However I had a feeling that something was off in my gut, that I mistook for being something else. I hadn’t been manipulated by a cuddle client in years and was sooo confident in my manifesting abilities, that I couldn’t believe it. I felt a rush of sickness come over me---I felt so cheated and unvalued. When one person takes advantage of another energetically, monetarily, or time-wise, I call it “energetic rape.” I felt energetically raped, and I knew I was one of many who work in different healing modalities to experience this. I briefly went back in victim mentality, trying to sort out why and how it could possibly happen because “I embody so much light,” and seriously questioned if I ever want to cuddle again.

But then I caught myself. I hugged my fiancé, who reminded me that this client is the one who is in scarcity, not me, and that the universe is just using him as a tool to communicate with me. I knew he was right but I also know that my external reality is a reflection of my internal reality, so I knew I had to go investigate within to figure out what might be scarce and inauthentic within me.

I saged, cast circle, chanted, prayed, asked questions, and pulled cards.

It turned out this cuddle client carries an energy that I am responsible for transmuting. This energy of scarcity and inauthenticity may come from me, my ancestors, or me in another parallel/past life, but it doesn’t matter---it is my responsibility and I choose for it to be my pleasure to transmute. I know for a fact that scarcity comes from my family and ancestors. That was easy to figure out. I have been working through my own poverty mindset for a while now. But inauthenticity and manipulation for the worse, I think is a representation of me not expressing my full truth to the world in this reality (because I’m dealing with fear of freaking others out). To me, I see it as a cue that it is time to release that fear, and let go of need for any validation whatsoever.

So, I transmute this energy now as I write, and I literally feel it disappearing from my field as I type. I share my authentic story with you as an act of embodiment of what authenticity looks like. I’m not perfect (whatever that means), and a less-conscious version of myself, upon realizing that I had been tricked, might have wanted to numb my pain with alcohol and justify it with a “poor me” story. But the higher version of myself knows that I lose my alchemic power when I numb or distract myself from what is. The light side of my throat chakra, which I call one of my higher selves, stepped in and said “no, you are never a victim. Breathe into this, and do your work.” It is through listening to the voice of my authentic self during tests like this, that I can go deeper into realizing the totality of who I am, which further feeds the expression of my authentic self, creating an upward spiral. My True Self only knows love, and wants to send it to this cuddle client.

We have the power to alchemize our pain into something else, and we don’t have to keep repeating the same patterns anymore, falsely believing we are victims. We can create anything we want, but we first have to stop giving our power away to our own self-defeating mental stories. This cuddle client unknowingly exposed my and my ancestors' hidden darkness so that I could practice transmuting it and therefore anchoring in more light into this realm. Many of you specifically incarnated to do these same transmutations. There is so much darkness on Earth now that is ready to be turned back into light.

Ironically, I use this post to positively manipulate you to discover, access, and listen to and live out your authentic truth with a balanced throat chakra.

Namaste,

Pooja

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